As a well-respected British journalist who has interviewed Keith Richards, Pete Townshend, and that other guy from Wham, I’ve been able to compile loads of magnificent accomplishments throughout my career. But there has always been one star, one musician, one great man who has eluded my intrusive questioning skills. That man is “Tom Sings.” It took a long time, but I’ve finally been able to track down the genius, the master, the ever-elusive recluse of a performer . . . the one and only “Tom Sings,” of “Tom Sings the ’90’s” fame.
Ever so shy and humble (and strikingly handsome if I might say so myself), Tom Sings agreed to this first ever interview on two conditions. I was to be picked up many kilometers away from his hidden studio and blindfolded so I could not reveal where his “state-of-the-art-one-of-a-kind” studio is located. The 2nd condition . . . well . . . I had to bring him a pie. No particular pie, actually, just simply . . . pie. Apparently, Tom Sings is a man who likes his pie. Here is what else I learned about the man who is also known as “The best thing to come out of the Clinton Years besides Monica Lewinski.”
I watched the Devils score 3 late goals last night to welcome in Ilya Kovalchuk and stun the hapless Toronto Maple Leafs (keep trading away Toronto, it will never make a difference!) and I ended up speaking to a native New Jerseyan this morning (Nicholas) about all things Devils. We reminisced about Scott Stevens, and it instantly made me think of something. The Devils played the Leafs last night . . . Stevens was brought up this morning . . . ahh . . . my memory took me back to the 2001 Stanley Cup Playoffs when Tie Domi was a member of one of the dirtiest NHL teams – in fact – Domi should’ve been captain of that team just to symbolize how dirty they actually were. Here’s the clip:
One might think that because I’m an Islander fan I instantly must hate anything the Devils do. Well, the Devils have done nothing but win, win, and win since as long as I’ve been a fan of hockey (since Martin Brodeur’s rookie year) and I can see how that would be annoying to nearby fans of the Flyers, Rangers, and the Islanders. I’m a little different though. The Devils don’t annoy me. They never have. In fact, I remember the 1st game I saw on TV (the old SportsChannel!) was actually a New Jersey Devils game (I totally remember their nasty green and red Christmas jerseys!). And by the time I became a die-hard Islander fan I already knew who I was supposed to hate . . . the dirty Rangers! The Devils were harmless, at least to me!
In this Daily News article Heidi Montag (fake celebrity from MTV’s “The Hills”) speaks about how her mother looked at her as a “circus freak” after her plastic surgery. I think Heidi owes circus freaks everywhere an apology. How dare she lump them in the same sad circle she runs in. Heidi’s a mess, and I think she’s headed for a long downward spiral (even more than she’s in now). The girl is only 23, and she’s already the biggest joke in Hollywood (No Lindsay, you’re not a joke, you’re just . . . sadly over the hill at only 24, but you’re best saved for a different post).
How a 23 win team that is in the midst of a 5 game losing streak can still be in great playoff positioning on February 3rd is beyond my realm of belief. So it goes in the “New NHL.” I’ve always been against “loser points” that award a team that loses in overtime a point in the standings, as well as losing in a shoot-out (skills-competition). I’m sorry, this isn’t kindergarten . . . you shouldn’t get anything for losing in a professional sport (except an earful from the coaching staff). However, as an Islander fan, it is the loser point that has actually given this team some hope early on in their rebuild process (for those that think Tavares was anything close to the final piece, get real – the rebuilding is far from done). Besides the loser point, however, and maybe more importantly, is that the teams directly around the Islanders in the Eastern Conference standings simply aren’t that good (that’s right, I’m talking about YOU New York Rangers! YOU SUCK!).
I’ve been warning the rest of America for over a decade now that sooner or later Guidos will spread, grow, and try to take over the land. Thanks to “Jersey Shore” it’s happening as we speak! (if you spill Vodka on them, they multiply!!)
Another day – another desk nearly thrown across the room (only slightly kidding). Look, I’m in a bad situation, but it’s a situation I’m glad to be in, if that makes any sense. Today was my 5th day as a 7th grade teacher – my first official Monday (I started last Tuesday after MLK day), and I’ve got tons to learn. I don’t expect to go in there and whip my classes into shape within one week. I’m their 5th teacher including their original certified one who started the year (and left for obvious reasons, I’m sure) and 3 different subs. The kids have been handed the short end of the stick, yes, but I’ve had enough – it’s only been a week and yes of course I’m going through the usual “1st year teacher thinking” of “holy shit what did I get myself into!? I should’ve gone into horticulture!!” – - – but someone pointed something out to me today after work. A fellow teacher said to me, “you know, a lot of these kids have never had a father figure in their life, so they don’t really know how to respond and react accordingly . . . .” or something like that . . . anyway – it made me think of something . . . .
Finally, oh oh finally, I had my first day as a real teacher! Wow, was that exhausting!!
I’m so beat, mentally and physically, that I actually FORGOT there was an Islander Penguin game!! I know, seriously! How could I forget!?!?
The Islanders have been absolutely on fire – the excitement over guidos is so large, that one of my student’s examples today for “when being on time is important” read like this, “When DJ Pauly D plays a club, he has to show up on time or they might not ask him back to work again.”
hahahaha how amazing is that!? (or sad!? I don’t know yet)
My point being: There’s going to be a lot to write about this upcoming week/weekend! Yesterday was an amazing day – it was my name-day – I’ve got a b-day coming up – I had my first day in a new career and got that out of the way – and heck, it’s only Tuesday!!
Bottom Line: I’m excited, and I’m happy to have a blog/website where I can write about it! Woo!! LET’S GO ISLANDERS! LET’S GO ISLANDERS!
I thoroughly enjoy the reaction to Mark McGwire’s admission to using steroids (and cheesy apology) that Ex-Cardinal Jack Clark expressed recently. This is the way I feel players like McGwire should be treated, and spoken of – and the one thing I can be happy about is that he won’t be remembered for breaking the single season home-run record, but instead he’ll be remembered as the guy who cheated in order to break the home-run record.
To quote Ronnie, “one shot! one shot! one shot bro!” – Nope, he wasn’t talking about a jager-bomb – he was talking about how it took one hit to knock a kid out! Boom! Ronnie got into another fight and lays a brother out! This is how it’s done at the Jersey Shore! Woooo!! hahahaha (oh my god what is happening to me, it’s like I’m conforming to their actions and actually finding them appropriate – too much exposure to the fake tans! Ahhhh!!
To quote Snooki – well, perhaps paraphrase, since I sometimes have no idea what the hell anyone is talking about, “I f*cking save animals. It’s what I do! I do goats, horses, cows . . . .” What!?! What!?! Okay “Snickers.” Little thing is crazy! Yet oddly funny.
Entertainment | admin | February 6, 2010 | 
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